When we decided it was time to have a baby, we assumed (as most people probably do) that it wouldn't take long for me to get pregnant. We were both healthy, and according to the medical community, I was still considered young to be having a baby. Well, it ended up being a long nineteen months before I finally got pregnant.
The beginning of it all was actually the hardest because we were both so excited and full of anticipation. In our minds, we were finally going to have the family we'd both been imagining for so long!
But then nothing happened. Month after month after month, nothing happened.
It was like, every time that stick showed only one line, our expectations grew more and our hopes got higher for the next month. And then every month that stupid little stick only showed one line, and we just felt more and more devastated. I swear I started seeing things, and a couple times I knew I'd seen a second line. Then the next day, there was no line again. I was driving myself crazy, convincing myself that a line was there when it wasn't. All I could think about during those months was how we'd already been married for seven years and waited this long, and now we had to wait even longer. Seriously!?!
After about seven or eight months we learned to manage our expectations much better. Instead of thinking that I would get pregnant, we just told ourselves that it wasn't going to happen. That actually made things a lot easier.
After a year of trying, we started looking into IVF. Over the course of the second year, we got all of the testing done, etc. etc., and the results came back mostly negative...there was nothing that out of the ordinary. We fell into the category of "unexplained infertility". At one of our appointments, the doctor told us that we had about a five percent chance of getting pregnant naturally. So, we geared up to start our IVF treatments in March.
In the end, I guess all we needed was a five percent chance. One month before we were supposed to start our treatments, that stupid little stick showed two lines. And this time, both lines were real! Of course, at this stage in the game I didn't believe it. I took a picture and sent a 911 text to Don (well actually, I *accidentally* sent that text to my mom first...oops) saying something like, "CALL ME RIGHT NOW!!".
Truth be told, neither of us were really certain if the lines were both there. Throughout that night, I kept taking more and more of those cheap little Amazon tests, and they all came back similarly hopeful but inconclusive. The next morning, I told Don that I was going to Target on my lunch break to buy one of the really expensive pregnancy tests. We were going to settle this thing.
So, during my lunch break I went to Target and bought the fanciest pregnancy test on the shelf. I ran into the bathroom to take the test, but I was so so so so scared to look. It took me a couple of minutes to gather my courage, but when I finally looked down the lines were so clear!!!! Clearblue! Clearblue, through and through! I surprised myself with how instantaneously I started crying. I sent a picture to Don and called him as soon as I left the bathroom. I just started wandering aimlessly around Target on the phone, sobbing uncontrollably. We both cried. I must have gone up and down the towel aisle three or four different times because that's honestly the only aisle I remember. I'm sure I looked crazy, but I didn't care.
When all is said and done, we feel really lucky for a lot of reasons. First of all, being able to get pregnant at all is a blessing. I currently have four friends who are going through the IVF process, and I know many more friends who have gone through it already.
I also had a pretty easy pregnancy, which I'm grateful for. I was only sick through ten weeks (literally the only things I could eat were meat and cheese...sooo many meatballs), which is relatively early for morning sickness to dissipate. And even at that, I only had one throwing up episode! The only thing that was difficult for me to manage was the migraines. During the first trimester, it seemed like I was getting a migraine almost once a week. Yuck. Thankfully, they too disappeared after the first trimester.
Other than the general discomforts of being pregnant, it was smooth sailing. I worked up until the week of my due date, and I also ran almost the whole time (sporadically, but I did it!). Don't get me wrong, I hated being pregnant. I really, really, really disliked not being able to use my body as I had before. I missed running, running fast, bounding up the stairs, jogging on a whim when I got impatient because walking took too long, sleeping on my back...I guess being pregnant did make me extremely grateful to have a healthy, strong body though.
I tried to be one of those perfect people that took perfect "bumpies" every month in the same cute outfit to show my perfect bump progress...but yeah, no. That didn't happen. I did try though, and I am proud of myself for getting as many bumpies as I did.
Auggie was only twelve weeks at this ultrasound, but he was moving around like crazy! When the doctor showed me the screen, his little legs were frantically kicking and kicking. It's amazing to look back and see his personality so early on. He's still such a wiggle monster!
These are the ultrasound pictures from twenty weeks. He's such a CUTE NUGGET! That was the appointment where we found out he was a boy.
Oh, so the worst thing during my pregnancy was actually the veins issue. After the first trimester, it was like all of the veins in my right leg went into hyperdrive. They became so swollen and spread like wildfire all over my leg. Anyway, that's why I'm wearing a compression sock in every picture. I had to wear that thing every. single. day. It was too painful if I didn't. I actually kept a spare sock at work, just in case I forgot to put it on in the morning. Forgetting the sock was my biggest fear during the whole pregnancy. That and Auggie's constant hiccups, which also secretly kind of freaked me out.
This last bumpie was at 40 weeks, but the bumpie app didn't go that far. :)
I have to add this picture in just because. I never want forget how WEIRD PREGNANCY IS.
Auggie was so comfortable inside of me, I don't think he would have come out for a while. I was induced on a Monday at forty weeks and three days, by choice. We could have kept waiting, but both of us were pretty eager to meet the little guy. I'm actually so glad I didn't wait any longer because he was 8lbs 2oz at birth, which did a number on my body (recovery was actually the worst thing ever). But that's another story for another post.
Part of me was sad that I didn't have the "oh no, my water broke...it's happening!" surprise kind of moment. But, it was also fun to wake up in the morning knowing we were going to have a baby that day.
This is the picture we took just before we left for the hospital. This was officially our last moment at home just the three of us (#mimi).
Let the real adventures begin!
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